Bloodsucking Fiends, By Christopher Moore

LOVE BITES!

No seriously, it really does bite.

Bloodsucking Fiends By Christopher Moore

Attention! I am about to review a title that is one of my favorite romps of all time. It's funny as hell, and no it's not YA, but if you can stomach a little crass, tongue in cheek dig in because this the red velvet cake of satirical vampire rants.

Jody, is in her mid 20's with a series of bad relationships under her belt when she hits satan's lottery and is turned into a newborn gorgeous vampire. The vamp who made her leaves a fat bundle of cash with her and with that she sets off into her new life. Or un-life in this case. But she needs someone who can do her bidding in the daylight. Enter C. Thomas Flood. No, you are not reading it wrong. It's hysterical. And as accurate a literary name as you could get for this young boy who left Incontinence, Indiana to come to San Francisco to be the next Jack Kerouac (personally, with a name like that he might one to stick to dollar a page erotica, but at any rate...) While working a night job at a supermarket, Jody vamps her way into his life, and turns it upside down and inside out.

From turkey bowling in the supermarket, to raunchy un-dead love-making; From failed date-o-holic to rockin' hot vamp, Bloodsucking Fiends is a ride that will have you flying through the pages at a preternatural pace!

Warning: Terribly lewd & Hysterically bad launguage ensues; References to drugs and the drinking of blood follows; Undead & living, outright sexual gambols prickle their way through the book. SO don't say I didn't warn you...

Now, if you can handle THAT, which I believe you can (because you are smart enough to read into the implications of Moore's insanely funny, bizarre, & sometimes freaky style), then you will be in for a big treat. Bloodsucking Fiends is and always will be one of my favorite books ever.

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Quote from Bloodsucking Fiends,

"This is horrible."
"What is it?" Tommy insisted.
"I just realized-I'm always going to be a pudgette. I have jeans I'll never get into. I am always going to need to loose five pounds."
"So what, every woman I've ever known thought she needed to loose five pounds."
"But they have a chance, they have hope. I'm doomed."
"You could go on a liquid diet," Tommy said.
"Very funny." She pinched her hip to confirm her observations. "Five pounds. If only he'd waited another week to attack. I was on a yogurt and grapefruit diet. I would have made it. I'd be thin forever." She realized she was obsessing and turned to Tommy. "How's your neck by the way?"

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Bloodsucking Fiends has a sequel entitled You Suck. Both are published by Simon & Schuster, New York.